Without Her

“Without Her is a poignant memoir offered up in the tiny chunks of noticing that often accompany sudden grief. I swallowed Rebecca Spiegel’s book in one long gulp. Spiegel’s memories are so detailed I can’t help but sit beside her in her loss. This clear-eyed reckoning offers me a path toward understanding what always exists on the other side of grief: the joyful fact of a deep and abiding love.”

“For as often as we lament the course of grief in public, rarely do works of prose interrogate those representations as our own stories conform to stage rehearsals over experience. Rebecca Spiegel’s beautifully intricate memoir, Without Her, eschews the comforts of sentimentality in order to tell a different story, one which critiques our adherence to convenience and imprecision and instead asks what forms bereavement might take at the sentence level and how this might get us closer to true thinking and feeling, beyond the readily available beliefs about ourselves and our pasts. Spiegel is a master of quiet introspection, and Without Her marks an essential inquiry toward rethinking how we love and remember.”

“Without Her is one of the most sensitive, profound, and honest accounts of grief and suicide loss I’ve ever encountered. In beautiful and bracingly direct prose, Spiegel describes the indescribable experience of losing someone who has shaped your very sense of self. This book is a gift to those seeking to understand what it’s like to sift through the unanswerable questions left in the wake of a loved one’s suicide, or to anyone trying to keep going after losing someone they don’t know how to live without.”

“Rebecca Spiegel has written an aching testament to the unceasing compact that we must make each day anew when we have awakened to suffering, in the ones we love, in ourselves. Once known, it can never be unknown, and no matter how overwhelming our love, it can never take pain from another. With a clear and reverent honesty, Spiegel demonstrates that there is a way to live with this knowledge, and that is to claim suffering from fear, to speak of it, clearly, honestly, frankly. By documenting the ever-emerging marks that grief and loss will never stop inscribing onto the world of the living, by acknowledging that recovery is a never-ending spiral, she offers us an enduring form of love, of mercy.”

“Spiegel debuts with a staggering account of the aftershocks from her younger sister’s suicide. […] This is stunning.”

“A stark study of grief and a touching tribute to a beloved sibling.”