Fiction

Patient, Female

Stories

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From the New York Times bestselling author of Dear Committee Members, a collection of stories driven by complex female protagonists confronting the myriad emotions of the human experience.

An unsuspecting couple is treated to a luxury vacation by their deceased neighbor, whose mysterious last act prompts a confession. A middle school girl, after begrudgingly agreeing to volunteer at a nursing home, gambles over games of bridge with elderly residents. A single mother struggles to understand the unique bond between her autistic son and his dying grandmother. Four friends experience decades of highs and lows as pawns in The Game of Life. A professional gynecology patient runs into a high school flame while at work, undressed, on the job.

In this refreshing story collection, celebrated novelist Julie Schumacher balances sorrow against laughter. Here, we experience story not only as narrative, but as syllabus and as board game. Each protagonist—ranging from girlhood to senescence—receives her own indelible voice and nuanced interiority as she navigates conflict, social conventions, and generational misunderstandings. Exquisitely honest and expertly crafted, Patient, Female renders—with dark humor and sharp wit—the foibles of human behavior and our endearing imperfections.

ISBN

9781639551651

Publish Date

05/05/2026

Pages

272

Dimensions

8.5 × 5.5 × 1.25 in

Weight

15 oz

Cover Art

Author

Julie Schumacher

Julie Schumacher is the author of eleven books, including the national bestseller Dear Committee Members, winner of the Thurber Prize for American Humor. Schumacher’s other works include two short story collections, a satirical coloring book, and five novels for young readers.

Praise and Prizes

“Patient, Female is shrewd, sage, and so darkly funny—what a treat to take a break from this world and go spend time in Julie Schumacher’s.”

Claire Lombardo

author of The Most Fun We Ever Had
“Julie Schumacher offers more of her signature wisdom and sharp eye for telling situations in these thirteen stories of contemporary life. Her people are robust and failing, wise and off the mark, yet they all move through compelling situations and maneuver crossroads toward a new beginning that the reader can imagine beyond the last line. Everything about these stories is expert—I read them with deep pleasure and satisfaction.”

Alice Elliott Dark

author of Fellowship Point
“In turns, profoundly unsettling and slyly funny, Patient, Female explores the kaleidoscope of ways humans relate to each other—as parents, children, spouses, siblings, lovers, friends, and colleagues—with wit and needle-sharp prose. Julie Schumacher is brilliant at chronicling the high-tensile cable that connects even the most distant of family members, and the uncertainty and devastation that can result from even the simplest and most loving of choices. Truly, every one of these stories is a gem.”

Katherine Heiny

author of Games and Rituals and Early Morning Riser
“Julie Schumacher’s mesmerizing collection made me laugh out loud at the same time that it filled me with a sense of foreboding. How does she manage it? With characters so finely tuned that they vibrate on the page and with a keen eye for the ways in which it’s our human lot to hurtle toward uncertain futures with our hearts laid bare. These stories are masterful and wise.”

Marisa Silver

author of Mary Coin

Patient, Female

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Praise and Prizes

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